Sunday, January 27, 2008
Thursday, January 10, 2008
deaf's sex life
Two deaf people get married. During the first week of
marriage, they find that they are unable to communicate
in the bedroom when they turn off the lights (because they
can't see each other using sign language).
After several nights of fumbling around and misunderstandings,
the wife proposes a solution. "Honey, " she
signs, "Why don't we agree on some simple signals?
For instance, at night, if you want to have sex with me, reach
over and squeeze my left breast one time. If you don't
want to have sex, reach over and squeeze my right breast
one time."
The husband thinks this is a great idea and signs back to
his wife, "Great idea! Now if you want to have sex with
ME, reach over and pull on my penis one time." "And
if you don't want to have sex, reach over and pull on
my penis...fifty times"
The Price of Diamonds
A lady walks into a very upscale jewelry shop. She browses around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and
walks over to inspect it.
As she bends over to look more closely, she inadvertently
passes gas. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously
to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and prays that a sales person
doesn't pop up right now.
As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes
in the form of a salesman standing right behind her. Cool
as a cucumber and displaying complete professionalism, the
sal esman greets the lady with, "Good day, Madam.
How may we help you today?"
Very uncomfortably, but hoping that the salesman may just
not have been there at the time of her little 'accident',
she asks, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely bracelet?"
He answers, "Madam, if you farted just looking at
it, you're going to shit when I tell you the price.
all about cocks
There is a guy who really takes care
of his body. He lifts weights and jogs five miles every day.
One day he looks into the mirror and admires his body. He
notices that he is really sun tanned all over, except his
penis, and he decides to do something about it.
He goes to the beach, strips completely and buries himself
in the sand except for his penis sticking up out of the sand.
Two little old ladies are strolling along the beach and
one looks down and says, "There is no justice in this
world."
The other lady say, "What do you mean?"
The first lady says, "Look at that!"
"When I was 10 years old I was afraid of it;"
"When I was 20 years old I was curious about it"
"When I was 30 years old i enjoyed it"
"When I was 40 years old I asked for it"
"When I was 50 years old I paid for it"
"When I was 60 years old I prayed for it"
"When I was 70 years old I forgot about it"
AND NOW that I'm 80 years old THE DAMN THINGS ARE GROWING
WILD!
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